I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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