I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i believe in u and ur pee
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize