i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
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