Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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