I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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