tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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