haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize