i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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