Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
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You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize