He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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