Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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