Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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