you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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