I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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