I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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