hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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