he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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