he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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