I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize