Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize