Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
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They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
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Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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