Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
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Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
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HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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