I wish I only lived at night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
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Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
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This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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