I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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