so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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