actually, I'm a sock model
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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