You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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