Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize