I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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