I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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