you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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