in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize