My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm getting married
To pizza
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize