I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize