its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize