I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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