Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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