This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Shame - the story of my life.
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