this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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