I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize