i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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