even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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