Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize