Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I believe in your delicious
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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