Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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