i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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