I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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