good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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