so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize