my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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