so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize